The Trappings of Anger
I feel a bit odd preaching this whole.... philosophy of my life. At times I think that what I'm saying is pretty worthwhile and people should check out this neat thing I thought up! Other times I stare at the posts and cringe while thinking, "How pretentious." Amusingly enough, once I get into the flow of putting thought to paper none of that matters. This is why writing is cathartic for me, I'm able to remove the ego and just let words fall from my brain to the page. So it may very well be pretentious or presumptuous, but I'm hoping it's an accessible, moderately modern take on some old ideas with noodly models on how shit might be applied in our own lives
I hate when I'm around yelling and people slamming doors in anger. It's always so violent. I know the violence isn't directed necessarily at a person, but it's still a violent action. To me the action of rampaging about in anger is akin to a child throwing a tantrum or crying when they get in trouble for something they know they shouldn't have done. Ultimately it serves to take the focus off of the true underlying issue. To anyone nearby the tantrum thrower knows that it shifts the focus towards sympathetic. Especially if the person is both made uncomfortable by the proximity of the violence, and if they're a peacemaker. So we say "it's okay, it's fine." and the real issue gets buried and pushed away
Resorting to anger and destruction is easy for most. It feels good in the moment and provides a focus for powerful emotions to get misdirected onto. I've never understood it because I go straight to sadness then try to identify what other emotions I'm feeling. I find it important to take the time to not respond to situations immediately but to take a moment and try to see what the other individual might be seeing. Everyone will see every single situation in a perfectly unique way. Nobody will experience the same moment in precisely the same way. Our pasts create the frame that we view life through. The best we can do is try to understand WHY someone may be reacting the way they are to a situation by looking at what has shaped their perception up to that point.
it's extremely valuable to sit quietly, even if surrounded by people, for 1 or 2 minutes and look deep within that emotion/reaction to see..... what is causing it and then to talk with the person who caused you to feel that way...... NOW, the issue the other person has to be willing and receptive to the conversation and willing to listen to you without interrupting
but very often we will find that what has been built up so largely within our minds and has become.... a catastrophe.... can be managed this way it can be analyzed down into small chunks
I hate when I'm around yelling and people slamming doors in anger. It's always so violent. I know the violence isn't directed necessarily at a person, but it's still a violent action. To me the action of rampaging about in anger is akin to a child throwing a tantrum or crying when they get in trouble for something they know they shouldn't have done. Ultimately it serves to take the focus off of the true underlying issue. To anyone nearby the tantrum thrower knows that it shifts the focus towards sympathetic. Especially if the person is both made uncomfortable by the proximity of the violence, and if they're a peacemaker. So we say "it's okay, it's fine." and the real issue gets buried and pushed away
Anger is often called a secondary emotion because we tend to resort to anger in order to protect ourselves from or cover up other vulnerable feelings. A primary feeling is what is what is felt immediately before we feel anger. ... We might first feel afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured.
Resorting to anger and destruction is easy for most. It feels good in the moment and provides a focus for powerful emotions to get misdirected onto. I've never understood it because I go straight to sadness then try to identify what other emotions I'm feeling. I find it important to take the time to not respond to situations immediately but to take a moment and try to see what the other individual might be seeing. Everyone will see every single situation in a perfectly unique way. Nobody will experience the same moment in precisely the same way. Our pasts create the frame that we view life through. The best we can do is try to understand WHY someone may be reacting the way they are to a situation by looking at what has shaped their perception up to that point.
it's extremely valuable to sit quietly, even if surrounded by people, for 1 or 2 minutes and look deep within that emotion/reaction to see..... what is causing it and then to talk with the person who caused you to feel that way...... NOW, the issue the other person has to be willing and receptive to the conversation and willing to listen to you without interrupting
but very often we will find that what has been built up so largely within our minds and has become.... a catastrophe.... can be managed this way it can be analyzed down into small chunks
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